4:01 PM Eastern Time Zone~Computer desk
OK. I sound positive in my posts, right? Well, I can't pretend anymore. I am not a positive, happy person. I'm not depressed or anything, just not as positive as I make off to be in my posts. I usually add positivity into my posts nonchalantly, but now I will start paying more attention in my posts. Usually, I'd insert a smiley face here, but not anymore.
OK, rough note to start this post off on.
Lately, a wave of angst has been holding me down. I can't explain what it is, but I just feel it all the time. I keep getting nervous at simple things-like raising my hand in class. But it even affects my trust issues. Usually,I have a great sense of camaraderie when it comes to friends, but lately I keep replaying their words and keep thinking that there is some elaborate scheme their plotting against me. I love all three of them to death, but this wave of angst is killing me. I usually make small, esoteric puns or jokes with my group, mainly about my infinitesimal friend (aka Jen) but lately I can barely mutter "hello" in the morning. I hate anxiety!
So yeah the equanimity of my mind lately has been extremely high lately. I hate to give a presentation in front of my whole class today, preparing for that was ludicrous. Not only is my teacher extremely
fastidious, which is a good thing, usually, but my groupmate and I forgot lots of details. I bet you can imagine how that turned out.
Angst, malaise, oblivion, peevish,and maudlin have taken over my entire system. Oh yeah don't forget about anxiety.
picture perfect girl, offline
Edit: Sorry for my vocabulary words. When I get stressed I tend to use intellectual-sounding words.
